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Feature
Pigface and friends...
A nite at the HOB Anaheim
by: KUCI Hooligans

On Tuesday December 4th a bunch of hooligans from KUCI went to the House of Blues in Anaheim to see Pigface perform live with Gravity Kills, Godhead and a "Special guest." In attendance were, from The Necrobotic Dance Party, Pandora Killjoy and Zoe Necrosis, and from It Only Gets Worse, Agent 86 and Dire 51.

What follows are personal accounts of the show from all fronts. This may be the longest, irreverent, greatest or pointless show review you have ever read.

PANDORA KILLJOY

Once upon a time, I went to see a show at the House of Blues, Anaheim.
Meg Lee Chin and Chris Connelly were going to be playing with Pigface. I was excited. It was all downhill from there.

List of negatives:

Godhead:
-The lead singer of Godhead had a shaved head and looked like Billy Corrigan of the Smashing Pumpkins. Yet he did they did not sound as good as the Smashing Pumpkins. And I hate the Smasking Pumpkins.
-Several Godhead songs sounded remarkably like Metalicca tracks. I found that for several songs, one could even believably sing Meticalla lyrics during the chorus in place of whatever horrible lyrics they felt where worth putting to music. And I hate Metalicca.

Gravity Kills:
-Gravity Kills was industrial like Liberace was a vocalist.
-The keyboard player had constructed some monstrousity of a keyboard,
presumably intended to look 'industrial' and flopped it around like a small child with a new pet bunny. The only thing this accomplished was to show off low little talent keyboard players need. He demonstrated to the entire audience that he only played two keys the entire show, and that one of them had been highlighted day glo green for easy reference.
And I hate day glo green.
-Even the record Execs on the upper level looked bored. They probably did not have the benefits of booze at this point in the show.

Pigface:
-I had never seen a picture of Meg Lee Chin. She was short and squatty.
Better left to the imagine. Her voice? Better left to studio engineering.
-Chris Connelly is no longer sexy. A sad realization I shall, from here
forward, block from my memory. I shall think of the happy days of yore and pretend that was not him.
-Whoever that was from Hate Dept that was playing with them was, in classic Hate Dept form, annoyingly self promoting. Even when playing with Pigface, he could not lose his horrible guitar with 'Hate Dept' across it in huge letters. And I hate Hate Dept.

Postives:

Godhead:
-?

Gravity Kills:
-I'm sure they will have another thrillingly brief KROQ career during which their manager will tell them to 'lose the silly keyboard.'

Pigface:
-They had someone in a bunny suit. You can't go wrong with a bunny suit.
-They had a great intro deal, their staging was well done for atleast the first 15 minutes of being on. Then it turned into chaos.
-They are still better than going to 'Pig' when you thought you were going to see 'Pigface.'

And, just to prove I'm not a total stick in the mud:
House of Blues Anaheim is still a great place to see shows b/c they are so small. AND, they have strong drinks.
Yum.
PK

ZOE NECROSIS

Thank you PK. That was not only entertaining but informative. Now for those of you who don't care about relevant information, here's a contribution from Dire 51 of It Only Gets Worse.

DIRE 51

A review of the Pigface show 12-5-01 by Dire 51

ZOE

I believe it took place on the 4th but hey, who's keeping track?

DIRE 51

Okay...well, Wednesday the 5th is mostly a blur for me, so I'll try to
remember what I can...

The evening started out at my (and PK's) house where Agent 86, Zoe Necrosis, Pandora Killjoy and our friend Eugene all gathered to make the trip to Dowtown Disney, where the show was located at. I was working late on a stupid JavaScript problem for a client in San Francisco, and realized that there was no way I could complete the task at hand sober. So, I busted out an old half-empty bottle of cheap Bourbon (Jim Beam) that I had horded away in a secret hiding place (one of many little secret caches of booze that my drunken self hides for my typically clueless sober counterpart in the nooks and crannies of the house). I polished off what was left of the fifth in about 15 minutes.
By this time, people were stating to show up at the house, so I decided to finish the job when I got home from the show.

I got dressed and went downstairs to hang out with everyone. With the
bourbon kicking in, it was decided that Agent 86 would drive my car to the show. We then left for Downtown Disney when we realized that everyone had been at the house for a while and it was kinda pointless for us to sit around. So I grabbed what turned out to be a very yummy Arturo Fuente cigar to smoke when we got to the venue.

Fast forward to about 20 minutes later, after taking a quick detour over to Blockbuster to drop off a couple of overdue DVDs, when we are waiting in line to get into the House of Blues, I decide to smoke my cigar. As mentioned before the cigar was most excellent.

ZOE

No really, it gets better, just keep reading. Please?

DIRE 51

When I get inside, there is some random opening band setting up. Apparently, they are Krell (as in General?), the "special mystery guest". I had never heard of them. And they sucked, so I can't remember anything more about them.

As a force of habit, I headed to the bar. Then I rememberd, I wasn't going to drink anymore tonight, because I was broke. But then I saw that the bar took plastic! One Gin and Tonic, please...stiff! Hurrah!

A few Gin and Tonics later (damn, they make these things good here...about 80% gin to 20% tonic water, just like I make them myself...they even use Bombay Sapphire Gin, my favorite!), things started to get blurry. Godhead was the next band to come on. Incidentally, Jason (the vocalist from that band who looks like Death from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey) used to date one of my old roomates. Nice guy. Crappy band. Too bad.

I decide to go outside and leech a cigarette off of Agent 86. By this time, Gin and Tonic #3 is really kicking in and multiplying itself with the bourbon. After that, I can only remember fragments of what followed that night.

Apparently, for some reason, I decided to walk home from the House of
Blues. I tell my friends of these nonsensical plans and say "see you at home!"

I find out later that PK and Eugene had a bet as to whether I would make it home or not. You see a few weeks prior to this, one of our roomates got drunk at the corner bar and on his way home, got arrested for walking into the wrong house!

On the trip home, I vaguely remember trying to take shortcuts by hopping fences and cutting through random forested ares that I had no idea even existed in Anaheim!

Needless to say, I missed Pigface. And every other band besides Godhead and Krell.

Oh, well.

Apperently Eugene won the bet, as I made it home safely. I don't actually remember making it home at all. I just had one of those Memento moments where "you wake up in a room...okay, is this my room? I believe so...but how did I get here? What do I rememebr last...?" But my drunken self (this alter-ego I like to call Drunken Master, because I have found many interesting messages left from him to my sober self on my computer...usually very insightful advice and poignant observation, all with completely perfect spelling and punctuation!) had the good sense to leave the house key and the emergency money right where I was apparently told to. This is very interesting considering I don't remember getting a house key or money from anyone at all!

So, in conclusion, I have no idea how Pigface was, since I was wandering the back alleys of Anaheim at the time. I can say, however, that both Krell and Godhead sucked. And that the House of Blues makes great Gin and Tonics!


ZOE

WEll, that was certainly the greatest show review I've ever read by someone who didn't actually see the headlining band perform.

And now I'll tack on my recollection of the evening.

My curiosity over just who would comprise Pigface for this particular show was one of the motivations for encouraging us all to go. Pigface is, according to Dire 51, a project of Martin Atkins, but even Shonen Knife has been part of the group for at least one song. Its one of those kind of things - chances are you yourself were in Pigface at one time but just can't remember.

As for my boozing experience, I would normally hit up the hard liquor or maybe beer at a show, but beer and I haven't been on speaking terms since I vomited 2 huge Optimators and some Underberg (sp?) at the Rathskeller in Huntington. And liquor has always managed to get the better of me on times like this. So I started off by drinking the only booze I drink these days - wine - only to find out that someone had disguised a gallon of vinegar with red food coloring as a bottle of Woodbridge. Oh wait, maybe that's just how that welfare shit normally tastes.

Okay, who performed again?

Oh yeah, Krell: Okay, they were pretty lackluster. Garage fodder for Korn fans and other travellers on the short bus. PK made the observation that the lead singer, in appearance anyway, was trying ever so hard to be Al Jorgensen but was being held back by his fuzzy sweater... sweaterrrrrrrr.

By this time Eugene was plowing us with a round of booze and I decided to have a rum and coke. If I had left it at that and not had 2 or 3 more glasses of cabernet I might've been alright.

Godhead: who gives a shit?

Gravity Kills: this band was terrible when they were on KROQ and they haven't changed a bit. They even still play their single, "Guilty," as if anyone cares. This was the band with the least interested audience through the entire evening. The lead singer doesn't even know how to peel correctly: he came out on stage wearing tight jeans and no shirt - duh! You're supposed to wait at least 2 or 3 songs at the minimum before you start showing off your Family Fitness pectorals.

I think this is the point where I threw up for the first time. This was the interesting bit: the main constituent of my pipes at this point was red wine (bile and stomach acid for subsequent vomitings). And I tried, I really did, to vomit only inside the toilet bowl but naturally some splattered on the rim and the surrounding area. Being that it was a pulpy, dark red substance that I was puking the next person to use that stall must've been hard pressed to guess what horrible bloody thing had happened in there.

It's really too bad I wasn't all there when Pigface came on. There was some kind of acoustic performance for the first 15 minutes, which was unique, though long. I think. And I was very dissapointed to not hear any actual song endemic only to Pigface - all I heard were songs by the Damage Manual and other projects that the performers that night were involved in. What was the point?

Chris Connelly (of Revolting Cocks fame - I'm surprised Pk left that out... maybe she assumes you'd know that or doesn't care about you in the first place... that might be it) was a dissapointment.

Meg Lee Chin - okay, she was pretty good. On at least one song. She was really the only element of the show I was coming close to enjoying, especially since her solo album music sounds all too often like hyperactive british kids wearing neon. On this evening her particular vocal styling was accompanied by bombastic guitar. So I liked the combination. Or maybe its just my fetish for eccentric asian girls who wear goggles.

Something like 10 minutes or 9 hours later Agent 86 woke me up, I vomited again, and we went home. The next morning I asked Dire 51 why he walked home in the middle of the show. "I can't remember," he said. I found that amusing.

Okay, there's a couple more people who want to get there two cents in.

THE TRAFFIC CONE

Hi, I'm the Traffic Cone, and although I would have liked to have been at the Pigface concert, I had been abducted by a strange man with overalls and locked in the back of his van. At least there was a mattress in the back - it was very comfy.

In the future, I'd like to go to more industrial concerts. Or perhaps just get a nice big turnip in the country. But I probably won't get either because I'm just a Traffic Cone.

WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS

Killjoy and our friend realized that there was no way I could complete the task at hand sober. By this time, I got dressed and realized that everyone had been at Blockbuster. 20 minutes later I decided to smoke my House of Blues. And they sucked, force of habit, one gin and hurrah! Forested areas I missed Pigface as I made it home safely. 80% saffire 20% Godhead. I had no idea Pigface was Drunken Master.

Once upon Chris Connelly, it was all downhill. And I hate the Smashing chorus in place of horrible Metallica. Liberace was a vocalist with a new pet bunny. Even the record Execs had been highlighted day glo green for easy reference. Her voice? No longer short and squatty. Hate Dept form horribly, better left to studio KROQ. In a bunny suit still better than going to 'pig' when they have strong drinks.


ZOE NECROSIS and PANDORA KILLJOY appear courtesy of The Necrobotic Dance Party - Saturday Nights from midnight to 3am pacific time.

DIRE 51 and AGENT 86 appear courtesy of It Only Gets Worse - Sunday mornings from 3am - 5am, right after NDP.

THE TRAFFIC CONE and WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS appear courtesy the Sears Roebuck Foundation and the National Association of Marlon Brando Lookalikes.

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