, which was even more demoralizing. Worse: someone stole the Love LPs that TARA was so fond of. Well, maybe it was TARA--if so, good taste! Thanks to TOM and his buddy TURBO. Also: KRAPPENSHAUER returns, sings Journey. And a little piece of me dies.
THURSDAY, MARCH 20 @ 11:59 PM
Maybe we should learn something from this: three non-stop hours of the Flipper song "Brainwash" gets us more and more supportive phone calls than anything else we've ever done (even the non pareil ALL FUNK NO PUNK show!). Thanks to those who actually got what we were doing; thanks to DARBINA and SOUTHPAW for getting down with the cause (and they'll have their own show soon, so beware as TOO LATE takes over!). Anyway, now that we've learned that shaky political rationalizations are enough to get you people to listen to anything, expect a huge drop-off in show quality until the North Korean nukes hit Irvine.
THURSDAY, MARCH 13 @ 11:59 PM
Interns take over again; Chris and Lady Mizz call in from Austin, Texas, where all the bands suck and the beer makes you barf. Later: WAR LOOMS.
THURSDAY, MARCH 6 @ 11:59 PM
MOST OFFENSIVE SHOW EVER. STREET TRASH brought 8,000,000 hardcore records and 8,000,000 hardcore fans to the studio, resulting in the phones ringing off the hook and untrammeled obscenity flowing like cheap wine. And KYLE KAPOW even made a rare live appearance, sharing secret B-sides from his upcoming releases, which you should buy, you scums. And probably other stuff happened, but I woke up bruised and confused, so I can't speak to exactly what.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 27 @ 11:59 PM
Interns DARBINA and SOUTHPAW make their triumphant return, seizing control of the station to talk about some dork drooling in his lunch while we admit Too Late! freelance fotog ED who takes lot of pictures of empty turntables and people's butts. America, we give you ART. Meanwhile: SONDRA and TARA go Are You Too Late For The Trend? WILD up in Frisco; pix and hickeys coming soon. Also: KILLER DREAMER wads up human decency and flushes it down the station toilet with a Flipper cover longer than their entire actual set. Orgasms had by all, but at what cost? Also: yes, I know this is now a gossip column but it makes me feel important. Leave me that, OK?
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20 @ 11:59 PM
This is what joy sounds like when it's punching you in the face with a lot of rings on: once THE ORPHANS ' JENNY QUITTER showed up in formal attire--something we insist on for every visitor to the show--it was suddenly Are You Too Late For The Prom?. SOUTHPAW's buddy DARBINA (the third Stooge) showed up to intern and played a listenable Exploited song--yeah, we didn't know they existed either. Then SAM and KAT did some trans-area-code bonding (Was someone licking urinal cakes? Or did we dream that?) and then we took pictures. Also: LADY MIZZ was not present because this show was too trendy. Also: Are You Too Late For The Trend? celebrates one month without posted playlists!
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 13 @ 11:59 PM
Oh, sweet mystery of etc.! This show just got cuddlier and tipsier as the night staggered on, which is just how we wanted to spend our V-day. Three hours of unprotected aural sex--because remember, if it ain't unprotected, it ain't true love. LIVE AT FIVE (which is now LIVE AT TWO) put THE STARVATIONS into heavy rotation, despite well-intentioned prank calls by members of certain prominent LA bands who just got their hair cut (All we ask: Where's my burrito, hot stuff?) and lots of heavy breathing by all parties involved, plus a special surprise visit by TARA and SONDRA to jam the Are You Too Late For The Trend? slumber party into giggly high gear. Say goodnight, girls: "Goodnight, girls!" ALSO: Lady Mizz now on MAKE OUT CLUB; adjust your teenage lust appropriately. Why playlist when we can dance?
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6 @ 11:59 PM
LIVE AT FIVE (which is now LIVE AT TWO) smashed a big glob of THE MEAN REDS all over the back window of your Honda Civic. Times were, of course, good, made better by our special intern helper Christine, and made as good as they could ever get when Christine punched Lady Mizz in the stomach live on the air! Gals, please! Anyway, even though Christine had never heard the Stooges, she did know who Bobby Pyn was and how to correctly spell 'Pyn,' thus we dub thee 'Southpaw.' Confidential to the sad-sack Cure fan who called in: no, seriously, it's called "Friday I'm In Love (With Your Mom)". Playlist when our moms give us a ride back home from the studio.
THURSDAY, JANUARY 30 @ 11:59 PM
LIVE AT FIVE (which is now LIVE AT TWO) achieves something of a dream with a standard-setting live set by TOYS THAT KILL, who made us as proud as ever to have spent a few nights kicking around Pedro. Like the man says: "I love you, dude." And are they really playing a house party this weekend? Pinch me, commandant! Also: Barry wins a record, the ghost of Darby Crash makes the toilet flush like 1,000 times, and someone AIMs us on the air. Cruelle wurlde!
THURSDAY, JANUARY 23 @ 11:59 PM
LIVE AT FIVE (which is now LIVE AT TWO) was thrilled to present SQUAB, four girls from the out-lying deserts that we've sworn by since, like, 1998. Pure joy. Other joy-related happenings: Lady Mizz calls in from tour in Seattle, Chris Z rants about politics, evil spirits cause minor technical difficulties. We prevail over the netherworld and eat a bagel, too. Uncollectable playlists of the past maybe soon.
THURSDAY, JANUARY 16 @ 11:59 PM
LIVE AT FIVE (which is now LIVE AT TWO) brought you a rowdy set by THIS IS REVENGE, complete with live audio commentary track and severe technical difficulties! Lady Mizz was so appalled that the Revenge kids wanted to play a Megadeth record that she left an hour early, paving the way for a truly disturbing peek into a suburban Anaheimian mind. Plus: shout-outs to our Army of Jen, repeated warnings to to try and beat the trains, Greg from Orange wins some Starvations records, and we play worse music than ever. Good times, good times! Also: these playlists are shoddy and inaccurate at best.
The Pack
Endtables
Rhino 39
Los Reactors
Flys
Radiators From Space
FU2
Elton Motello
Normals
G.G. Allin
Screamers
The Mad
The Trend
Anoushcka Et Les Prives
Victims
Stinky Toys
Swell Maps
Units
Adam Ant
Maggots
Hollywood Brats
Dils
Stripes
Castration Squad
Raxola
Hammer Damage
Pere Ubu
APOLOGIES FOR THE FOLLOWING COURTESY THIS IS REVENGE:
Megadeth
Sade
Mott the Hoople
Eddie Murphy
BACK TO NORMAL:
Nervebreakers
Unnatural Axe
Dogs (LA)
Shitdogs
Features
Eppu Normaali
Public Image Ltd.
And there's more but man, playlisting is boring.
THURSDAY, JANUARY 9 @ 11:59 PM
Clear your calendar for a special edition of ARE YOU TOO LATE FOR THE TREND?: ALL FUNK NO PUNK! Our first show of the new year: three hours of the best honkin' rhythm and blues, soul and funk from the 1950s to the 1970s, because that's where all this rock 'n' roll came from in the first place. This is the shit oldies radio is still afraid to play: Esquerita, Big Maybelle, Bunker Hill, Don and Dewey, Emannual Laskey, the Casualairs, Bobby Davis, our buddy Butterball and more than you could ever believe possible. Listen drunk with someone you love and thank us when you wake up naked together in the morning. UPDATE: Not one single phone call! See you in HELL! Also: we'll probably do a rare complete playlist for this one, so you can actually track down all of these bands for yourself. And when we get more web space, we'll put this on permanent archive.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 30 @ 3 AM
LIVE AT FIVE takes a field trip to the hinterlands with 909ers THE VACCINE live from RADIO BEAT STUDIOS in beautiful Bellflower, California! They win the dubious honors of being the first band ever to make it to the studio without being pulled over and the first band to sass back Lady Mizz Chickenhawk and live to tell the tale. Lots of self-indulgent interview fun, a rare Alf record that sounds a lot like Stiv Bators, and a guy who called up for a song about a relationship that's been totally destroyed. We owe you Flipper, OK?
Modern Lovers
Psycho Surgeons
The Next
Dishrags
Celibate Rifles
Fingers
The Accident
Purple Hearts
Nubs
The Beat
Hunches
Bastards
Shits
Skunks
Los Reactors
The Curse
Rainbows
Adam Ant
Dils
Sights
Destruction Unit
Adverts
Okmoniks
Heart Attack
Stitches
FM Knives
Pandoras
THE FOLLOWING COURTESY THE VACCINE:
Turbonegro
Cramps
Fuckemos
Alice Cooper
T. Rex
Love
Fear (by request)
Jawbreaker
Electric Frankenstein
Heartbreakers
The Take
Epoxies (by request)
Alf
Stiv Bators
MONDAY, DECEMBER 23 @ 3 AM
No LIVE AT FIVE, but we slashed up the holidays with hours of the most depressing downer music we could find. All our listeners are probably dead now. Playlist when we go from depressive back to manic. Nods to the guy who called in and yelled, "I'M DEAD!!!!"
MONDAY, DECEMBER 16 @ 3 AM
LIVE AT FIVE drags you into a future that never was with THE BOLIDES live from RADIO BEAT STUDIOS in beautiful Bellflower, California! They were a delight to work with and despite all the noise, they really were a polite bunch of nerds. Also: Danny Nipples from Whittier actually won our record giveaway, DJ Officer Krappenshauer finished his paper on Philip K. Dick, Lady Mizz Chickenhawk could neither confirm or deny the existence of eggnog-flavored lube, and Enid from Socks And Sandals called in. And we figured out how to make fake links. See below.
Electric Eels
Features
Joneses
Victims
Tits
Ramblers
Red Cross
Idols
Braineaters
Kids
Inverted Triangle
Nerves
Buzzcocks
Lost Kids
Deadbeats
Child Molesters
DMZ
Bags
Fast Cars
The Mad
Tapeworm
Dogs
Big Balls and the Great White Idiot
Sonics
Don and Dewey
Rene Hall Orchestra
Barbarians
Esquerita
Johnny Thunders
Haskels
Metal Urbain
Devo
Stooges
La Peste
Checkers
Sharp Ease
Wire
Pere Ubu
Distraction
Angelyne
Undertones
and as always, approximately twenty bands we don't remember.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 9 @ 3 AM
LIVE AT FIVE cowers before the power of THE FUSE! This show was amazing. They got pulled over during a live on-air phone interview and Lady Mizz Chickenhawk debuted his big box of rare records. Too bad it has now disappeared forever. We did interview the Fuse! afterward; if anyone wants, we can put that up. Um, sure. Also: this live set will be released on BROADWAY JUNGLE RECORDS sometime early in 2003 as a split with the Starvations. So get those checkbooks ready! Because for $100 American, we'll give you a playlist!
MONDAY, DECEMBER 2 @ 3 AM
LIVE AT FIVE was proud to present THE SHARP EASE! These four girls are the pinch in the ass people been weeping for around here. Catch them now or chase down the bandwagon later! Remember, Sharp Ease fans: "Pussy bumpin'--do it for the kids!" Also: any playlist worth waiting for will never ever come.
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 25 @ 3 AM
LIVE AT FIVE continued with a set at 5 AM by Orange County Posh-Boy-punk-band THE BROKEN BOTTLES.
The Distraction
Nouveaux Riches
Private Vices
Swell Maps
Rezillos
Suicide
International Strike Force
Rogers Sisters
The Finger
The Beat
Arlo Stenmit And His Hammerkids
Ramones
Stripes
No Talents
Mary Monday
Stooges
Accident
Cramps
Snuky Tate
Replacements
X (LA)
Pylon
Glass Candy And The Shattered Theatre
Go-Go's
Prima Donnas (by request)
Sick Things
Fuses
Paul E. Ester And The Cruel Shoes
Black Market Baby
Subtonix
Pinkz
Pandoras
Liliput
Randoms
Radio Birdman
Slits
Bears
and a bunch of other bands we can't remember
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 18 @ 3 AM
LIVE AT FIVE set with THE RATTLESNAKES.
This will never be playlisted.
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 11 @ 3 AM
LIVE AT FIVE set by
THE RATTLESNAKES
CANCELLED due to RADIO BEAT STUDIOS guy staying too long in VEGAS. Believe us that we are rescheduling at the earliest opportunity.
The Stooges
Nervous Eaters
The Lewd
The Users
Mad Virgins
Avengers
Day-Glo Abortions
Nick Lowe
The Stalin
Dogs (France)
X-Ray Spex
Consumers
Adolescents
Killjoys
Gun Club
Testors
Lost Sounds
Voidoids
Suburban Studs
Jag-Offs
Registrators
DOA
Dickies
Eater
Proletariat
Glueams
Urinals
The Freeze
Theoretical Girls
Big Boys
Teengenerate
The Briefs
Idols
Replacements
Embarrassment
The Haskels
Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments
Crispy Nuts
Toy Dolls
Toys That Kill
Dictators
Primmers
TSOL
Radio Vago
La Polla Records
Filth (Holland)
Nikki and the Corvettes
Esquerita
Holly Golightly
Reigning Sound
Monks
Scientists
Seeds
Modern Lovers
Tip-Tops
Nuns
Agent Orange
Circle Jerks
Black Randy and the Metrosquad
Flipper
Descendents
Red Cross
Mission of Burma
Buzz
Mummies
Saints
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 4 @ 3 AM
Chris Z sicks out. Sorry.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 28 @ 3 AM
DJ Officer Krappenshauer tells a scary story about a movie he saw on the Travel Channel; again, someone requests a Stooges song. Later Chris Z cleans the KUCI bathroom to keep this show on the air. We hope that appalls you.
Angelyne
Oblivians
Hollywood Brats
Really Red
Star Club
Soul Agents
The Suburban Reptiles
Angry Samoans
Sado-Nation
Dogs (Iowa)
Menace
The Sniveling Shits
Slaughter and the Dogs
Wipers
The Only Ones
Heartbreakers
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Black Flag
The Jam
Buzzcocks
The Accident
The Controllers
Stitches (by request)
Wire
The Raincoats
The Feelies
The Nerves
Flowers
The Crowd
Stooges (by request)
Fear
Pylon
Zero Boys
Dils
UXA
Devo (by request)
Yah-Mos
BellRays
Donnas
The Metros
Shove
Undertones
Purple Hearts
Simply Saucer
Warsaw
Dicks
Broken Bottles
Termiti
Viletones
MONDAY, OCTOBER 21 @ 3 AM
DJ Officer Krappenshauer sicks out to interview at Target (update: still unemployed); Chris Z flies solo into the long dark. And is too lazy to make real links tonight.
Long Tall Shorty
Undertones
Alan Milman Sect
Plugz
The Fuse!
Deadbeats (LA)
Scientists
Adverts
Swell Maps
Weirdos
The Doll
Los Microwaves
Marie Et Les Garcons
Slits
Runaways
Stripes
The Brat
Vibrators
X (LA)
Damned
Cramps
Clone Defects
Pagans
The Beat (LA)
Au Pairs
Loli and the Chones
Snuky Tate
Bikini Kill
Feederz
Vomit Pigs
Pere Ubu
Modern Lovers
Dead Boys
Real Kids
New York Dolls
Cheifs
Eyes
Rezillos
Destroy All Monsters
Jean and the Statesides
Proud Scum
Wipers
Vulpe SS
Crime
Eddie and the Subtitles
Subway Sect
The Take
Magazine
Contortions
La Peste
Dead Moon
The Eat
Go-Go's
Stooges (by request)
Huggy Bear
Avengers
X (Australia)
Lipstick Pickups
Peer Pressure
Scars
The Fuses
Prag Vec
MONDAY, OCTOBER 14 @ 3 AM
No show; attending wake for Matty Luv.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 7 @ 3 AM
Ramones (by request)
X (Australia)
Devo
Registrators
The Brat
The Dogs (LA)
Penetration
Negative Trend
David Bowie
Stooges
Sonics
Replacements
Red Cross
The Pets
Dead Kennedys (by request)
The Orphans
Black Flag
Pretty Girls
The Weird Lovemakers
A Frames
First Alert
The Okmoniks
The Prima Donnas
PIL
Jean and the Statesides
The Normal
The Sharp Ease
Sex Pistols
The Skulls
Panther
The Starvations
Saints
Teenage Head
Gizmos
Plastic Bertrand
The Raped
Alan Milman Sect
La Peste
Rocket From the Tombs
The Spits
The Outsiders (Netherlands)
Adam and the Ants
VKTMS
Victims (Australia)
Electric Eels
Cherry Vanilla
Rezillos
Radio Birdman
Fun Things
Guilty Razors
And a special Hickey and Fuckboyz retrospective. R.I.P. Matty Luv, 1968-2002.
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